16 September 2009

Beat of My Heart


For about a year, Eric has been trying to convince me to train with his bestie, Joel. I had, in the past, strongly resisted, as I felt loyal to my own trainer. I would schlep up to her apartment where we would work out in a candlelit room. While we worked out, we would gab and gab while her dogs would lick me and her husband would do work in the same room. I happily embraced this alternative work out. I did not have to wear sneakers. I never broke a sweat. I was never sore. All and all, it was absolute perfection in my eyes.


One morning I was complaining about my body to Kevin (I know, he is so INCREDIBLY lucky) and he said, "I have an idea! Pay me half as much as you pay your trainer and I guarantee the same results.....NOTHING." With that, I decided to make some changes.

Enter Joel.....

Joel graciously accepted the invitation to improve my physique (that was my request, naturally). He even agreed to come to my gym. I was a bit nervous the first session. We had hung out a bunch so working out was definitely crossing a boundary (and we all know, based on the fact that I even have a blog, I have boundary issues).

When we met, the first thing Joel did was tell me to lift my shirt. I was totally confused. Joel and I had done our fair share of flirting in the past but I didn't even look cute. I was in leggings, an old t-shirt and no make-up. I did as he asked and looked down. He whipped out a crazy contraption from his bag. Ahhhhh, a heart rate monitor. So, heart rate monitor strapped on, we went over to the treadmill. Now, I like to think of myself as fit. It seems like Joel's heart rate monitor doesn't. After a few minutes of running, my heart was racing. Now the beauty of working out with a guy is there is none of that girl cuddling bullshit. No "Great job. You can do it!" More like, "What the hell were you doing with your trainer? Your heart rate recovery rate is pathetic." To my defense, Joel is really really really good looking. Like REALLY good looking. I think everyones heart beats quickly when they're around him.

Then came the other stuff....at one point, when I was doing some awkward plank with a jump and a ball, I tried to protest. "What if I fall? I am nervous. I could hurt myself. Not this punim! " Joel said he felt pretty confident I would be alright even if I did fall since I was only two inches from the ground. Shit head. Anyways, after an hour of balls and squats and lunges and stepping on fucking benches, I thought I was going to fall over. I actually asked him if it was possible for my heart to beat so quickly that it would die. He said yes. He also said to squat deeper and talk less.

It has been two weeks that Joel and I have been training. I can't feel my legs. I am not really able to lift my arms above my shoulders. I may or may not need to hold on to a wall when I sit.
All in all, I’d say it is going well?

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