Pocketful o’ Meatballs

Obviously I was a fat kid. It’s my personal belief that all awesome people were, at some point, fat and yes, I just called myself awesome.

As a child, I did not like limits and, coincidently, my mother had a difficult time setting them. But, when I was approaching 4th grade and tipping the scale at 100 lbs, my mom had to get out of her comfort zone and tell me “no.” My mom’s first line of defense was setting a time for the kitchen to close. Every night after dinner, she would turn off the lights and declare, “kitchen closed.” Now, I am pretty resourceful so this posed no threat to me.

My mom is not the world’s best cook but she has one dish that is so radical that she makes up for it….Meatballs and Noodles.

Firstly, I must share this secret, the dish has beer in it. To kids, that was absolutely amazing. Whenever Eric and I would eat the dish, we would run around the house acting drunk and falling all over the place. We loved being drunk!

Secondly, for this meal, one serving was not enough. My mom may have “closed the kitchen” but as they say---where there is a will, there is a way------

Before the meatball meal extravaganza, I would prepare for my mission by placing plastic baggies into my pockets.

After savoring my one and only helping, I would surprise my mother and offer to clear the table. Now, clearing the table was never my favorite chore. I was always more of a setter but for this meal I would set and clear. As I was cleaning up, I would place meatballs into my pockets. With the baggies lining my pockets, I could comfortably fit 6 balls for later.

Is it weird I just told everyone about this dirty secret a year ago? My paid friend says no.